What's new, maniacs of masquerading mauling?!
This was a difficult week for yours truly. I've said it once, and I'll say it again, but depression is a real bitch. It was a real struggle for me to find anything I wanted to review or even watch the matches I wanted to watch to just keep regular for the week. Up until last night, I had a whole other match pencilled in for this weeks review, but I started to remember how I've pulled myself out of these funks.
In case of emergency, break glass.
What, or who, I should say, exists behind said glass?
Two wrestlers I've relied on when I needed that extra boost, that reminder that the sport of kings is the greatest thing on planet earth.
The first; Kenta Kobashi, arguably the greatest wrestler to ever live. The Iron Man himself.
The second; Akira Hokuto, the Dangerous Queen, close behind Kobashi for one of the greatest to ever live, regardless of gender.
So, at about 11pm on Thursday, I turned to YouTube and searched the most open-ended thing I could think of, "Akira Hokuto vs." that's where all great searches start.
From there, I found this weeks match.
Let's see what I found, shall we?
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| GAEA |
Here's what I watched for the week
| Match | Show | Date |
|---|---|---|
| Akira Hokuto vs. Meiko Satomura | GAEA Limit Break 2001 - Day 5 | 04/29/2001 |
• • • • •
Basic Breakdown
My first time watching GAEA brings me to 2001, a match in the early days of Meiko's legendary career (this is roughly match 244 for her) and about 21 matches away from Hokuto's retirement.
I don't really have a lot to add for the breakdown to this match, as I'm unfamiliar with the background for this match, but I did want to point out where each of these ladies were in their respective careers, as that's the real story going into this match.
Bell To Bell
Right from the start, we've moved into second gear, with Meiko Satomura offering Akira Hokuto a handshake, with the vet slow to oblige. When she finally does, she winds back and fires off a nasty slap with her right hand, one of her main forms of offence for the remainder of this match. Satomura shoots off one of her own as well, landing a series of srtiff kicks to the leg of Hokuto before dropping down for her signature Pelé kick, but Hokuto is able to block it, absorbing a European uppercut and a kick before sending Satomura down to the canvas with a slap.
Move Of The Match
Pulling Satomura up onto her shoulders, she fucking drills her into the canvas with a disgusting Death Valley Bomb, another one of Satomura's signature moves. (Sidebar, this is far and away the earliest I've decided on a "Move of the Match," just tells you what we are in for here.)
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| Not even 2 minutes in and she's dead. GAEA |
Snatching her from a prone position, Hokuto looks to make an example of Satomura early. Trying to force her to submit in a move made famous by her husband, Kensuke Sasaki, the Strangle Hold γ, a head trapped standing armbar. She's not able to get the full extension, instead running her knee into the side of Satomura's head for extra punishment. It's a frightening pace set already, with both women fierce and out for blood in the early moments of the match, but Hokuto has the experience edge that Satomura won't be able to achieve for a few years still. The best she can do is hope to survive the onslaught and make the most of the windows she's able to find.
Speaking of windows, when Hokuto pulls Satomura to her feet by her hair, she finds herself in the perfect position to take Hokuto by a waistlock, driving up and arching back, spiking her hard with a German suplex. She's able to land a stiff kick to the back of Hokuto when she rolls to her knees, but her offence is cut short when she tries to fire Hokuto off the ropes, with the savvy veteran holding the wrist of Satomura and catching her with a heavy-handed slap that drops her like a stone.
A second, third, and fourth slap drop Satomura to the canvas, but when Hokuto pulls her up for a fifth, she's able to snipe Hokuto with a Pelé kick, capitalizing on the opening with further kicks to Hokuto's head and face. Calling for the killshot early, Satomura tries for a Death Valley Bomb, but Hokuto slips lower on her shoulders and pulls Satomura to the canvas, catching her with Sasaki's Strangle Hold γ, flat out in the ring this time, instead of standing above her. Fighting free of the hold, Satomura lands heavy European uppercuts to send Hokuto staggering back a few steps to the corner.
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| Left out to dry like a corpse. GAEA |
A running forearm shot drops Hokuto long enough for Satomura to ascend to the top rope, but Hokuto is up to her feet quick, snatching Satomura by the hair and pulling her down from the top violently. Hokuto tries to ascend herself, but Satomura responds in kind, ripping her down viciously by her hair. They both try to climb again, with their attempts thwarted each time, but Satomura makes the most of her attempt to get Hokuto down, cracking her in the back of the head with a Pelé kick!
Dropping back into the ring like a sack of spuds, Hokuto is slow to rise, with Satomura on the top rope waiting for her. Taking flight, she attempts a lariat, but Hokuto catches the limb and pulling Satomura down. First, she tries a double wristlock on the canvas, but Satomura stands out of it, with Hokuto adjusting to a fujiwara armbar instead, laying her back out across the back of Satomura, wrenching the limb back at a nasty angle. Slowly, Satomura adjusts her position on the canvas, able to make it to the bottom rope to break the hold.
Letting her up, but only in the literal sense of the word, Hokuto maintains her grip on Satomura's arm and whips her across the ring; but this is no ordinary irish whip, it's something closer to the way you'd toss a bag of garbage into a dumpster, it's dismissive and vicious, and it sends Satomura crashing to the canvas and rolling to the floor for air. With Satomura being tended to at ringside, I feel this is an appropriate time to talk about the sounds in this match. It's fucking insane. A lot of these old Japanese shows are devoid of commentary, which makes little difference to me, a non-Japanese speaker, so it really lets you soak in the atmosphere of the live audience. The crowd sounds fucking nuts, dude, like, they're screaming, hooting and hollering as loud as they can. The wrestlers that are ringside, some of which are tending to Satomura with coldspray for her previously barred arms, would be shouting at their wrestlers like coaches would do ringside at something like the UFC. It creates an insane atmosphere and really makes this feel like a coliseum fight, I love it.
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| Holding nothing back. GAEA |
Climbing back in the ring, Hokuto wastes no time, lacing Satomura with a nasty slap across the face as soon as she clears the threshold of the ropes. Responding in kind, Satomura lands a kick to the leg of Hokuto, trying to chip away at her foundation. They chip away at each other, back and forth, over and over, with Satomura able to drop Hokuto with a kick and a shot to the face. Satomura tries to tie Hokuto up after whiffing a kick over her head, but exhaustion makes it a bit awkward for her to actually manage anything, with Hokuto able to get the back of Satomura and hold her down, her leg bent and arm twisted back. She's able to get to the ropes again, breaking the hold, with Hokuto pulling her back to the middle and looking for a leg lace of some kind, but Satomura shoots her legs out and drops Hokuto to the canvas.
A Sharpshooter/Scorpion Lock/whatever you want to call it is attempted by Satomura, but Hokuto is able to pull herself forward and break the weakened grip, transitioning into a head and arm STF instead. Again, Satomura struggles, pulling herself with one arm across, what may as well be, miles of canvas, each second she grows weaker and weaker, but she's able to break the hold again. Pulling Satomura up, Hokuto looks for her signature Northern Lights Bomb, but Satomura drops down to try for a Pelé kick, but it whiffs her head just barely.
Landing kicks to the downed Satomura, Hokuto makes her pay for her mistake, over and over again. Keeping her grounded, she ascends to the top rope and takes flight with a huge missile dropkick, crushing Satomura on impact. Back to the top again, Hokuto waits for Satomura to get to her feet, taking flight with another dropkick, sniping her like a .50 cal picking off someone's dome from a mile away. A cover is made, but Satomura gets free, with Hokuto staring daggers into the referee after the count is made. Clearly, she anticipated this being the match winning fall. Not quite.
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| Like she's got dynamite on her feet. GAEA |
Going for broke, Hokuto picks up Satomura and spikes her with the Dangerous Queen Bomb, Satomura is able to get free at two, somehow! Snatching her left wrist, Hokuto borrows a move from her husband's playbook, going for the Strangle Hold γ, grabbing Satomura's free arm to try and keep her from slipping free or getting to the ropes. Sadly, she is able to break the hold, with Satomura countering Hokuto's grip for a Northern Lights Bomb and turning it into a Death Valley Bomb, spiking her through the canvas. Instead of going for a cover, Satomura grabs the arm of Hokuto and tries for an armbar, with her foe able to shift and adjust her positioning, but it ends up costing her!
Getting a top position on Hokuto, Satomura is able to get her in Strangle Hold γ! It's rough, but it's effective, with Hokuto shifting on the canvas to get closer and closer to the ropes, eventually able to break the hold herself. Rolling to the floor, she catches her breath and tends to her wounded arm. Climbing to the apron to get back inside, Satomura runs across the ring and crashes into Hokuto with a forearm shot, dropping her back down on the apron. Pulling her inside the ring, a northern lights suplex keeps Hokuto down for two, with Satomura finally finding another window to climb inside.
A German spikes Hokuto, and Satomura ascends to the top, taking off with a splash, but Hokuto gets both feet above her, stabbing Satomura in the gut on impact. With both women down on the canvas, they take time to catch their breath, with Hokuto the first to rise to her feet. Snatching Satomura as if she's going to set her up for a Dragon sleeper/inverted DDT, she rips her off the canvas and drops her heavy on the back of her head. It's a gnarly landing. Another cover is made, but Satomura gets free, with Hokuto slapping the canvas in disgust.
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| Can someone check on her neck? Please? GAEA |
A back suplex drops Satomura next, and another cover only results in a two count. Whipping Satomiura off the ropes, Hokuto crashes into her with a spinning heel kick, dropping all her weight into this boot, another gnarly impact here. Another cover, another two. Hokuto is going for broke to try and put Satomura away here, clearly underestimating her in the early moments of this match but learning she is more that up for the challenge. Pulling Satomura to her feet, she looks to land a heavy shot on Satomura, but when she shows more signs of life than Hokuto was expecting, she dismissively rips her down to the canvas by her hair, not wanting to deal with whatever she could have in store.
A running boot off the ropes is caught by Satomura, who lands a punt nearly between the legs of Hokuto. I know ladies have different parts down there, but my dear wife confirmed for me that it still hurts. Thanks, wifey! A second punt is landed across the head of a seated Hokuto, with Satomura stalking a prone Hokuto, watching as she pulls herself up with the ropes. Waiting for, what she believes to be, the exact right moment, Satomura fires off her Pelé kick, but Hokuto uses the ropes to pull herself to the side, avoiding disaster. A heavy-handed slap drops Satomura again and again, with Hokuto staggering around the ring and using the ropes for support.
Falling onto Satomura for a cover, she gets free at one! Using her reserves to get her off the canvas, she's able to land a kick to the face of Hokuto and cover her for a pin, but she escapes at one too! A slap! A cover! Out at two for Satomura! Hokuto takes too long processing that the cover is unsuccessful, which allows Satomura to kick her straight in the face. Both women are slow to recover, with both women going for heaedbutts on one another as they recover on their knees. They're nasty and heavy, with Hokuto dropping Satomura to the canvas, then the apron, and finally the floor with a flurry of shots to the face.
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| No good for anybody. GAEA |
Acting quickly, Hokuto ascends to the top rope and flies, or falls, really, crushing someone else with a flipping senton on the floor! Satomura is able to get back in the ring after avoiding the impact, with people at ringside tending to Hokuto after the rough impact. Slowly, she rolls back inside the ring, with Satomura pulling her up and spiking her with the Death valley Bomb, but Hokuto manages to get free at two! A kick to the head from Satomura knocks the seated Hokuto back down, and another cover only scores her a two count.
Pulling Hokuto back up to her shoulders, Satomura lands another Death Valley Bomb, but Hokuto survives! Going for broke, she hooks Hokuto into the Strangle Hold γ, with Hokuto's partner Mayumi Ozaki, who is stood ringside, tries to climb in the ring to break the hold, but members of Hokuto's camp hold her back. Seen as a form of disrespect, her friends try to defend her honor, but it's up to Hokuto now to fight her way out of a move her husband has won countless matches with, or suffer the agony of losing to it herself.
Looking dead in the water, Hokuto limply tells the referee no time and time again, almost looking to accept that she has lost in the hold at times but still fighting her way out, slowly but surely scooting to the bottom rope. Seconds feel like hours as she gets inches closer, eventually laying a boot on the bottom rope, surviving the hold by a hair. A kick to the face drops her flat out, with Satomura going for another cover, but Hokuto bridges out of the cover, her effort both powerful and weak in the same breath. Satomura is practically pleading with the referee for the count to be three, but alas.
Pulling herself up with the ropes, Hokuto is vertical again, and Satomura assaults her, swarming her against the ropes, but Hokuto lands a slap that drops her heavy. Neither woman wanting to give in, they land strikes that drop the other with each impact, both of them slowly rising after each shot. One final salvo lands, with Hokuto able to catch herself from falling backwards, instead going forwards and covering Satomura, a desperate attempt at a cover. The referee counts one, then two, then thr- no! Satomura survives!
Calling for the end, Hokuto tries her Northern Lights Bomb, but her back gives out as Satomura dead weights her, both woman falling down again. Finally, she's able to land it, but is in no position to score a decisive pinfall. The referee urges her to cover, but she's flat out in the middle, trying to get close to a prone Satomura, but is too weakened to make it across the ring. The referee begins counting to 10, ready to call this match a draw by knockout, with Hokuto struggling to pull herself to her feet on the ropes. Satomura, in no mans land, gets to her knees and is able to stand as Hokuto uses to ropes to try and prop herself up, like trying to prop a corpse up with a broom handle. Unable to support her own weight, she collapses in the ring, with Satomura surviving the 10 count and being declared the winner by way of K.O.
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| Surviving by a hair. GAEA |
(I know in last weeks review, I talked about how I thought that was a weak finish to the Tsuji/Yuto match, but I just feel the action leading up to it did not align with the idea of both men being weak enough for it to make sense. For this match, however, it worked)
Match Time: 21:30
This match was exceptional, from top to bottom. A classic example of telling a story within the confines of the bell ringing, Hokuto came at Satomura like a vicious veteran wanting to put away the plucky rookie, but Satomura was able to not only survive Hokuto's onslaught, but best her in the end. Hokuto's viciousness and ferocity ended up being her undoing, with Satomura just needing to hold on for a second longer than her foe to win the bout. Sometimes, that's all a match comes down to, being able to hold out for one second longer. It's not always about killing them to the point that they can't move for a week, it sometimes just needs to be enough to get you the win that night. Exceptional work from both women, I loved this match so much.
• • • • •
Until next week. Be well, stay safe, and love one another.
cliffmorganwstl@gmail.com
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