What's the story, obsessives of over-the-top offense?
Well, I did it! I managed to get back to my two match reviews this week! Sure, the second "main event" match is more of an angle, but it's more than worthy of the spot. My first match is full of some pretty controversial opinions, but I don't want to spoil too much, you've gotta read on to find out what I mean!
Hopefully, things have straightened themselves out here at Wrestling Vault HQ. A day spent in the hospital (all good, no need to worry) and a weekend that was as "seat of your pants" as you can get had me questioning whether I could get it done, but I knuckled down and went to work.
So what's keeping you, dear reader? Read on and see what's on offer this week!
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| WWF |
Weekly Roundup
Here's what I watched for the week;
• • • • •
Bruiser Brody vs. Genichiro Tenryu - AJPW Champion Carnival 1988 - Day 17 - 04/15/1988
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| Things are about to get violent. AJPW |
Most of my weeks start the same now, when it comes to the Wrestling Vault. I let my mind wander around, thinking about different wrestlers, matches, shows, the whole deal. I see what jumps out at me and go from there. This week, a name stood out among the rest as someone I haven't given a real spotlight to on the Wrestling Vault;
"King Kong," Bruiser Brody.
A legendary gaijin wrestler, Brody's legend was already huge before his tragic murder in Puerto Rico, with that controversial killing only making his star grow even bigger. Dave Meltzer named an award after Bruiser Brody, his way of putting a stamp of approval on the best brawl-heavy match of the year. Brody's style wasn't pretty, it was far from technical, and, I'll be honest, is gonna be criticized here in this review. What Brody was truly known for was his wildman brawling and unstoppable violence. His specialty was entering an arena, whipping his signature chain around his head, and being a one man riot that tore through a crowd and bloodied anyone who got in his way. His signature brawls with Abdullah the Butcher, the Funk Brothers and others in the rings of Japan are stomach turning in the best way possible, a car crash you can't look away from.
I say all of this knowing two things;
1. I've watched these signature, legendary Brody matches and have always come away thinking "oh, that's it?" and
2. This match is the complete opposite of what Brody was famous for.
So why, you may ask yourself, did I decide to review this match specifically this week? If I knew it wasn't going to be a bloody arena brawl where Brody would be at his very best, why did I slot it in for a review this week? Quite simply, I've watched other Brody matches and haven't felt like there was much to talk about. His brawling is bloody and violent, of course, but there really isn't a lot of meat on those bloody bones, you know what I mean? Once you talk about how much wrestler A is bleeding and how hard wrestler B is punching him, you've kinda covered everything in the match. I know this opinion may catch me a lot of flak, so if you feel I'm way out of line, cliffmorganwstl@gmail.com.
I was in the mood for some Bruiser Brody, but I wanted to see if I could watch something that was more in-ring focused. Something that showed me what he was capable of between the ropes. So, to CAGEMATCH I went and found this match against Genichiro Tenryu to be pretty highly rated, as far as his singles matches are concerned. In fact, this is his second highest rated singles match on CAGEMATCH. So it had to be good!
The video starts with us backstage with Tenryu backstage, coming down to the ring to Masayoshi Takanaka's "Thunderstorm." If you haven't listened to this album yet, "Rainbow Goblins," change that. Now. I'm serious when I say that I may never hear a more complete album than this one in my lifetime. It's unreal.
This match also happens to be a title unification match, with Tenryu coming to the ring with both the NWA United National Championship and the PWF Heavyweight Championship. Brody is already in the ring with the NWA International Heavyweight Championship. Fun fact! These three belts may look familiar to fans of 1990's All Japan because it's these three belts that comprise the All Japan Triple Crown! Once these titles are unified, they are never separated again. Pretty cool shit, if you ask me.
Brody gets in the ring after Tenryu enters, chain in one hand, title in another, pacing back and forth barking "HUSS! HUSS! HUSS!" like he was known for doing. I don't think we'll ever get to the bottom of why he'd chant that all the time, think he was just trying to act nuts. Mission accomplished. The bell rings and neither man is too eager to lock up. They're hunched over and watching each other carefully. Tenryu suddenly takes off for the ropes and Brody does the same, both men coming to a stop in the middle again.
They try for a knuckle lock first, but its broken. They aren't apart for long before both men charge in for a lockup, with Brody forcing Tenryu to the ropes. Tenryu slaps the chest of Brody as he breaks the hold, stumbling the wildman back in shock. Another lockup with Brody catching a side headlock, he gets shoved off the ropes and rebounds off the other side, shoulder tackling Tenryu to the canvas. Tenryu takes a moment to collect himself before rising back to his feet, locking back up with Brody and snatching a side headlock. He grinds and grinds the side of his head, bringing him down to a knee and then flipping him over to his back. Brody muscles his way back to his feet and backs Tenryu into the ropes. He tries for a jumping knee off a rebound but Tenryu holds onto the ropes tight, narrowly missing one of Brody's best shots.
Back to the side headlock goes Tentryu, grinding Brody's head as he holds him flat out on the canvas. He wraps the free hand of Brody to try and limit his offence but gets twisted around in a pin for his troubles. Tenryu rolls back out of the cover and keeps the headlock on tight, with Brody working his way back to a vertical position. He backs Tenryu to the ropes again, this time firing off a chop without a moments hesitation, but Tenryu is too quick, ducking the shot . Again he locks up and flips Brody over, taking advantage of Brody's fierce temper and reliance on powerhouse offence. Brody fights his way out and gets a side headlock of his own on Tenryu, holding him in a standing position. Tenryu backs Brody to the ropes and breaks, chopping and landing an enziguiri on Brody, sending him stumbling to the ropes!
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| Back, and to the left. AJPW |
The first shot has landed, with Tenryu going for a killshot right out the gate. He tries to snatch Brody from behind while he's on the ropes but Brody holds tight, forcing Tenryu to back off and let him return to centre on his own. A lockup drives Tenryu to the ropes, with Brody crushing his chest with a salvo of chops. Tenryu drops flat but gets pulled back to his feet and shot into the ropes, rebounding only to come face-to-foot with Brody, landing back on the canvas again. A bodyslam from Brody drops Tenryu again, with Brody letting Tenryu free from his grasp before he takes him all the way over for the slam. Brody goes for a couple of these slam/suplex throws in this match that have his opponent in a sort of free fall before they normally would. I'm kinda torn on if I like the look of them or not. Either way, he tries for a pin but it's far too early for Tenryu to be put out yet.
He snatches a chinlock on a seated Tenryu, squeezing the jaw as Tenryu gets to his feet and puts Brody against the ropes. He breaks free and laces him with chops before sending him off the ropes, colliding with a lariat-of sorts. Tenryu runs with his arm totally horizontal, like if you told your 6 year old cousin what a clothesline was and they wanted to try it on you. Brody eats the shot and spins off the impact, crashing into the canvas as Tenryu tries for a pin of his own, but it's not even close to enough.
Something I want to talk about in this match while Tenryu has Brody caught in a head triangle is the selling in this match, more specifically, that of Brody.
There's no shortage of stories about Brody being a real sonofabitch to work with. His reputation for refusing to do jobs, rubbing promoters the wrong way with his inflated (and more often than not justified) view of himself, stiffing people in the ring, and just outright refusing to sell offence for someone if he feels he's been slighted or disrespected somehow. In a lot of ways, Brody is indicative of the worst traits these "old school" wrestlers embody. He used his size and reputation to bully others in the ring if things "didn't go his way," and could make you look like a total geek in seconds if he decided to stop selling whatever you were trying to land on him. He's respected as a cult figure years later for his innovations in brawling and "hardcore" wrestling and for being a true independent, going wherever he felt at the drop of a hat, but a lot of what he does just doesn't translate well to modern viewing, I'm sorry to say.
With that rant out of the way, back to the selling. There are several points in this match where Brody either sells poorly or outright refuses to sell what Tenryu has done to him. Tenryu is playing ball and doing his part, but Brody just keeps marching around the ring like he's fresh as a daisy at times. It's kinda infuriating.
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| Face, meet table. AJPW |
Anyways, back to the match. Both men rolls together and end up on the apron, with Brody taking things to where he's most comfortable. He snatches Tanryu by the back of the head and throws him over the guardrail and into a table. Tenryu starts to stand before Brody cracks a monitor across his back. One of those big boxy suckers, god that had to hurt. He sends Tenryu face first into a ringpost as the referee is trying to restore order, with Brody finally rolling Tenryu back in the ring only to land a huge stalling vertical suplex. Another free fall variant here into a pin, but it's not enough.
Looking to keep the pressure on now that he's in control, Brody slams Tenryu with a big 'ol bodyslam, backing to the far corner before running out and crushing Tenryu with a leg drop (brother why?) He scrambles across the ring as Tenryu rolls away to escape, covering him but only getting two. Pulling Tenryu to his feet, Brody tosses him throuhg the ropes to the floor, following out to the apron to deliver a short boot to the head before... rolling Tenryu back inside? Alright.
Using his sumo background, Tenryu is able to get Brody up with a big back suplex, spiking him into the canvas. It's another pin attempt and another kickout into a head triangle. Brody is able to pivot and rotate out of the hold, keeping Tenryu's legs laced as he goes for an early version of the STF. Brody breaks the hold before pulling Tenryu up for a bodyslam, using the change in position to go for a Boston crab. Tenryu is able to muscle his way out and try for a pin on Brody, only to get reversed and caught up in the ropes.
Again, a bodyslam plants Tenryu as Brody charges from the corner with a big standing splash. We're getting a lot of bodyslam based offence here. With Tenryu held in a side headlock, he snatches the left leg of Brody and picks his opponent up, driving Brody's shin into his knee as he brings him back down. Tenryu's newest target has just been acquired. With Brody on his back, Tenryu kicks the wounded leg before snatching him into a heelhook, punching and kicking the knee of Brody over and over again.
Here's where I started to notice Brody's lack of selling, and it really does a number on the offence of Tenryu. Think about it this way, wrestling is fake. Sorry to rip off the band aid that harshly, but it's fixed. Predetermined. By and large, these guys aren't actually trying to hurt each other. There are endless exceptions to this rule, with these two certainly being chief among them. But by and large, they're gonna be doing their best to go easy on each other in there. That doesn't mean "make everything look soft and gentle," it means quite the opposite. Hit the guy as nicely as possible, but do it in a way that looks real. On the flip side of that, the other guy needs to take the shot in a way that keeps himself safe, but needs to react, or sell in a way that makes your punch look like it really hurt.
I know a breakdown of the fundamentals of wrestling isn't necessary, but I wanted to illustrate my point clearly. Throughout the remainder of this match, Tenryu is almost exclusively targeting Brody's left knee, absolutely tearing it to bits. But does Brody limp around after a few minutes like it's extremely painful to put any weight on it? Does a lot of his offence suffer as a result of this damage? No, not really. It's pretty paint by numbers if you ask me. It makes Tenryu's offence look pretty pitiful and, to those in the know, makes Brody look like a real asshole for not giving Tenryu's offence the sell it needs to get over.
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| Am I being too critical? This doesn't look great to me. AJPW |
When Brody gets back to his feet, he marches around the ring and holds the top rope for support, flailing and stomping whenever Tenryu connects with a kick to the bad knee. Aside from the flail on the kick, his knee looks perfectly fine to me. No change in expression, barely a limp. He's fine! A chop drops Brody back to the canvas with Tenryu reapplying the heelhook. Brody sits up to try and releave pressure, but his face tells a different story. He goes for the leg of Tenryu to try and turn the tide but it's pretty ineffective. Rolling to the ropes is all he can do to break it. It turns out to cost Brody big time as Tenryu wraps his leg around the ring post.
I say all this, but Brody is back on his feet and walking around the next second, totally fine. Even using his bad leg to support a big boot that drives Tenryu into the corner. Alright, I guess.
Pulling Tenryu out the corner and firing him off the ropes, Brody cracks him in the jaw with a dropkick, walking back over to the prone Tenryu to keep the pressure on, only to get chopped and punched in his knee on the approach. Tenryu snatches the leg again and grounds the big man, getting his chin snatched and pulled on as Brody tries to break the hold. But Tenryu holds tight, digging his elbow into the knee of Brody.
After breaking the grip of Tenryu, he's the one sending Brody to the floor this time, throwing him through the ropes and going for the ring bell, smashing it off the knee of Brody, even smashing his leg off the barricade. They're back in the ring and Tenryu is fucking drilling Brody with kicks. There's a lot behind every shot but still, Brody just wanders around the ring. Another heelhhok ties Brody up on the canvas, his face grimacing as he tries to muscle through the pain. They're pretty close to the ropes this time, with Brody able to grab them after sitting up. He starts to pull himself to his feet, with Tenryu driving a foot up into the face of Brody to try and keep him grounded, and it proves to be effective.
Back in the middle, Tenryu rolls over to his stomach and breaks the hold, pulling Brody back to his feet to kick him in the leg, then the back of his skull with an enziguiri but, again, Brody just stumbles around. Left leg as good as the right. What's the deal here, pal. Tenryu pulls Brody in for a powerbomb but when he extends up, he ends up falling backwards, with Brody landing ass first on his chest. Brody turns it into a pin and so does Tenryu after kicking out, both men scoring only two.
Back to the leg goes Tenryu, kick after kick as Brody stays on his feet, firing off a lariat that drops Tenryu flat out. I think the most egregious incident of no selling comes right here. Factor in everything that has happened to Brody's knee to this point and put yourself in his fuzzy cow printed boots. Kicks, punches, heelhooks, elbows driven into the joint. Minutes upon minutes of targeted offence to the knee. So what does Brody do? Without so much as a ginger little hop during or after the move? A gutwrench suplex. Seriously man. He even gets back to his feet on that knee! I've play wrestled in my fucking yard with more believable selling than this.
Back to the matter at hand, a crossbody off a rope rebound catches Brody for a close two, and an enziguiri does the same. Stumbling around the ring, Brody gets caught with a top rope back elbow (?) from Tenryu. They're putting the pedal down here almost 30 minutes into this bout. A lariat to Brody after shooting him into the corner scores only two again. The nearfalls are all over the place right now. There's a bit of miscommunication here it seems as Tenryu does that 6 year old cousin clothesline again but holds his arm straight up as he passes Brody, with Bruiser not selling a lick and Tenryu just falling back into the corner. They walk back to centre with Tenryu chopping Brody and going for the spot again, with Brody going for a boot this time. Back on track!
Grabbing the legs of Tenryu as if to go for a Boston crab, Brody goes for a swing! It's like, a rotation and a half before he abandons ship, not really selling like his knee was the cause of the stoppage. He moves to the corner and calls for the end, lining Tenryu up before running out for the King Kong knee drop! He doesn't go right for the cover and it may have been what cost him the victory here, with Tenryu kicking out just before three.
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| Knee! To! Face! AJPE |
Brody goes back to the corner and catches Tenryu with a knee to the face after he gets back to his feet. He pulls him up on the other side of the ring and plants him with a bodyslam, coming off the top rope with a huge King Kong knee drop! Conveniently, this is the point in the match where Brody decides to sell his knee. He gets to his feet and falls right back down, rolling to the outside. Tenryu goes to the floor as well, trying to powerbomb Brody but seemingly giving up halfway through getting him up. With both men flat out on the outside, the referee calls the match. Double DQ. Nobody is the winner here.
Boy, I sure haven't been afraid of being overly critical lately, have I? I understand there's a lot of love and respect for Brody out there, I'm not saying he isn't deserving of his flowers, but if someone tries to tell you he's this in ring technician or master salesman, show them this match. Tenryu is great and pulling his weight, but Brody just seems criminally unmotivated here. Not selling an injury until it's necessary to get out of doing the job? Yeah, that doesn't work for me chief. I was expecting a lot more from this match and didn't get a whole lot, if we can be honest. I need to see this Inoki match to see what his, according to CAGEMATCH, best singles match is.
• • • • •
Jake Roberts vs. Randy Savage - WWF This Tuesday in Texas - 12/03/1991
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The "main event" post for this week is less about a match and more the angle and everything surrounding the match itself, which clicks in at barely 6 minutes, officially. I don't always like to focus on stuff aside from what happens in ring, but with how good this was? I'd be doing everyone a disservice if I didn't talk about it.
I'm not surprising anyone when I say that Jake Roberts is far and away one of, if not the best promo in wrestling. There are people who can talk, there are people who can't talk, and then there's Jake. He transcends the art of cutting a promo. Every word of his pulls you in deeper and deeper, further and further into his web. He's a master at telling a story and his words are just one of his best talents.
Now, let's not discount Randy Savage either. Sure, his coke fuelled promos verged on incoherent shouting at times, but he knew how to get a point across as well as anyone from this golden era of wrestling. When it came to putting asses in seats and getting peoples attention, the Macho Man knew how to do it. But let's be perfectly honest, his promo's are a measly 9mm handgun compared to Jake's precise .308 rounds, fired with deadly accuracy every time he takes aim. Even in ring, they're pretty evenly matched. But why are these two locking horns? What makes this bout so significant? Let's look back at 1991 and colour in the details a bit.
WrestleMania VII - A show featuring the beginning of The Undertaker's legendary streak, Mr. America Hulk Hogan vs. the Iraqi sympathizer Sgt. Slaughter, and Ultimate Warrior vs. Macho Man in a career threatening match. If either man lost, they'd be forced to retire. Macho Man came up short and was forced to end his career right there and then.
Following 'Mania, there was a reunion between Savage and Elizabeth and a proposal, with a wedding scheduled for...
SummerSlam 1991 - An on air wedding between a couple married since December of 1984 was the main event of the show, "a match made in heaven." The ceremony went off without a hitch, a rarity for wrestling weddings!
The reception, however, was a different story as two party crashers, The Undertaker and Jake Roberts, interrupted the party. Roberts antagonized Elizabeth with a snake popping out of a gift box and The Undertaker attacked Savage with an urn.
Roberts was on a mission to harass Savage and Elizabeth, doing everything he could to get under the skin of a man who was just trying to enjoy a life outside of wrestling. Things really changed on an episode of...
Superstars, 11/23/1991 - Roberts was in the ring, calling out Savage for being a gutless coward. Of course, Macho Man couldn't let this stand, so he marched down to the ring to confront Roberts. What followed is one of the most infamous segments in all of wrestling. With Savage tied up in the ropes, Roberts brought out his King Cobra, aptly named Lucifer, Jake made sure the snake was good and mad before turning its ire on the helpless Macho Man. It's teeth sunk deep into Savage's arm, (not actually) injecting buckets of venom into his arm.
Following this heinous attack, Savage went to WWF on-screen president Jack Tunney and begged to be reinstated. Wanting to get his hands on Roberts inside the ring.
He got his wish.
Now, we're caught up to This Tuesday in Texas, a 90 minute show a week after Survivor Series with The Undertaker defending his recently won WWF Championship (as recently as Survivor Series) against the former champion Hulk Hogan in the main event. But, for my money, the real main event was much earlier in the show. And, in all honestly, is the beating heart of this show. This storyline takes up the bulk of this show, when you compare it to everything else going on, and is probably second only to the main event for its significance.
Following a match between Intercontinental champion Bret Hart and Skinner, we join Sean Mooney and Jake Roberts backstage, where Mooney looks to learn a little bit more about why Jake wants this match, and also wants his thoughts after Jack Tunney barred Jake from having "any reptiles" in his corner.
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| I could not lie, I couldn't even cheat! WWF |
So what? As cold as a razor blade, as tight as a tourniquet, like the skin on a dying man- Randy Savage, the last time I seen you, you were flailing like some helpless child, drowning. Drowning from what? Drowning from the very poison that was running through your veins after that snake had chewed on that arm! For some time he did chew. Now you look at my eyes Randy Savage, and you'll see two black holes in the sky. But you look at that snake eyes and you'll see something so cold, and so devilish and so deliberate- yes, he takes care of what he has to. Does what he has to. Just like me. Your eyes? Your eyes weren't even there man, you were out, you were gone. But you know whose eyes I enjoyed the most? Do you? Elizabeth's! Pupils so small, so intent and so scared for the man that she loved. And what a rush I got, man. Up and down my back, it felt so good. My hair felt like it was tingling! I mean, I had goosebumps all over my body listening to you squeal for a man who could not do anything but flail around, and couldn't help himself at all, you know? And see, the thing about Jack Tunney barring the snake from the corner... let me tell you something Jack Tunney. When I was brought into this world, I could not rob, I could not steal, I could not lie, I couldn't even cheat! But boy, did I have some help learning, you have taught me so well! So you see, it is not my fault, anything that I do out there. You have given me the right to. You have almost pushed the button to make me do it. You have pulled the trigger. So anything that I do... is your fault. Snake in the corner? Trust me... trust me."
God Jesus man, what a promo. You've gotta find this show or promo online and listen for yourself. Jake is as cold as ever here, staring straight into the lens with those icy, heinous eyes. I've seen conflicting write ups for this promo when people quote it, some write "as tight as a turning key" but my ears say tourniquet. It makes more sense to me that Jake just pronounces it "turn-uh-key" rather than "turn-uh-kit." When he references Tunney barring the snake from ringside, Jake makes it sound like that snake is the only thing holding him back from being truly vile out there. Like when he has that snake, he has something easy to turn to when he wants to get violent. But without it? The gloves are off, man, there's no limits anymore. "I'm free to do whatever my little heart desires" he must be thinking. It's a brilliant line that turns the stipulation on its head. It makes Jake even more terrifying, thinking what he might be capable of without his snake. God, goosebumps.
Next, we go to Macho Man, his promo is a bit more... Savage, let's say. But I'll do my best to transcribe it.
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| Oh yeah, I'm gonna get the rush right there, yeah. WWF |
"No! Trust you Jake The Snake Roberts, that's what you want me to do? To trust you? Well you've taught us not to trust you, yeah! You've taught us that way, yeah! The way that you are and the things that you say, cause we already realize, yeah, that you get a rush, yeah! When the snake and the venom flows through my veins, that gives you a rush. You've told us that, yeah. And you told us to trust you, but I don't trust you, nobody trusts you, yeah. You also get a rush, yeah, when you look into Elizabeth's eyes, yeah, and you see fear. Fear in my... fear in my... fear in my wife's eyes. He says, he says he wants us to trust, yeah. Well listen, yeah! I am going to tell you somethin' you better not trust me and I am not going to trust you and we're going to get into a situation where I'm standing on top of that turnbuckle, yeah, and I point to the sky! And jump up off the turnbuckle, yeah, and I crush you with that elbow. One, two, three count, ya dig?! Jake The Snake Roberts, yeah! Trust me man, that's what's gonna happen, yeah. And then I'm gonna get the rush, yeah. Oh yeah, I'm gonna get the rush right there, yeah. My rush is gonna be when I look into Elizabeth's eyes after the three count and you're down and defeated and destroyed! And love and admiration is flowing from Elizabeth's eyes right there, that's my rush! Oh wow..."
"Trust me," can be heard through the building, the opening words to Jake's heartbeat like entrance song interrupts Savage's promo.
"Jake The Snake Roberts must be on his way to the ring right now, yeah. Well, let's see, date with destiny, right now, yeah. Yeah, date with destiny, trust me! Yeah!"
And with that, off goes Savage! Elizabeth is right behind him as we cut to the entrance way with Jake making his way to the ri- and there's Macho Man! Barrelling down the ring like a freight train! He jumps Jake and takes it to him on the outside, his insane outfit flailing around as he drives Jake into the corner and assaults him with punches, tossing him into the opposite corner and cracking him with a back elbow when he stumbles out. Jake gets caught with a double axe when Savage takes off from the top and hits the canvas, rolling to the outside and stumbling up the ramp to get out of harms way.
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| Comin' up from behind, doing the thing. Yeah! WWF |
Savage is on top of him without giving Jake a chance to breathe, he rolls him back inside and, I can only assume, this is when the match officially begins. It's not really much of a match, but they pack a lot in a short window and I love it. The referee is in Savage's face and Jake uses the distraction to crash into the stomach of Savage with a shoulder barge, doubling the Macho Man over. Grabbing Savage by the back of his head, he hurls him over the top rope and falls back on his ass, collecting himself as Savage crash lands on the outside. Living up to his name, Roberts slithers out beneath the bottom rope to join Savage on the outside, pulling him off the apron as Savage tries to get back in. Savage gets a few punches in but Jake turns the tide, tossing Savage's head and bandaged arm into the ringpost. The same arm that was bitten by Lucifer a few short weeks ago.
Savage rolls back inside for only a heartbeat, getting pulled back out and back to the ringpost, with Roberts smashing and wrapping the wound around the steel post. Roberts is back in the ring as Savage marches around ringside, nursing the wound as he tries to collect himself before getting back in the ring. A rabbit punch to the gut of Roberts is all Savage can fire off from his knees, but they are enough to stagger Jake back a few steps. A poke to the eyes from the snake man turns the tide and a reverse atomic drop takes Savage down to the canvas, Roberts seizing on the bandaged arm with big knee drops. He rips at the bandage and pulls a layer back, revealing blood pooling beneath the tape.
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| A snake always finds a way. WWF |
Savage tries to fight on his feet, his one arm completely incapacitated, but Jake keeps at it, slamming both the wound and his skull off the top turnbuckle. He hammerlocks the arm only to eat a back elbow, but Savage is too hurt to keep on him, he staggers around the ring and nurses his wound as Jake keeps on it, the snake acting more like a shark with how he keeps going for blood. Jake fires Savage into the ropes but gets caught with a boot on the rebound, the kick is in vain as Savage doubles over, leaving his back exposed for a forearm shot from Jake.
Calling for the end, Jake wrings out the arm of savage, pulling him in for a short arm lariat but Savage ducks it! He rebounds off the rope with an elbow to the face of Jake that backs him into the corner. Savage goes to whip jake but gets reversed not once, but twice, Jake desperately reaching for the far corner on the second reversal, only to get sent hard into the corner he just came from. Savage charges in but eats a knee from Jake, his offensive flurry cut short. The snake slithers out of the corner and wrings the arm again, pulling in Savage for the short arm lariat!
With the end in sight, Jake climbs to the middle rope and taunts the crowd, twisting a finger towards the heavens in his signature call for the DDT. Moving in for Savage, he shoots a snot rocket at the Macho Man in a last act of disrespect, pulling him up by the hair and pulls him in, but Savage keeps moving forward, shoving Jake into the corner! Jake staggers out in agony, falling to the canvas as he begs for referee Earl Hebner to check on him, gesturing to his ribs as he stomps the ring in agony.
Meanwhile, Savage ascends, climbing to the top and takes flight, crashing into Roberts with an elbow drop before going for the pin. It's one, it's two, and it's three! Savage did it!
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| One, two, three count, ya dig?! WWF |
Now, this is normally where I'd finish my review, but we've still got a lot of ground to cover. Shit's just getting good folks, buckle up.
Savage is happy with his win, but he wants to really put Roberts away. After everything he's put him through, Savage can't just let this be it. He jumps to the floor and grabs a chair, climbing to the apron as a ringside suit tries to snag the chair from his grasp, with a frustrated Savage kicking him to the floor. Not content with returning to the ring without a weapon, Savage goes back and grabs the ring bell this time, climbing back inside, only for Hebner to try and rip the bell from his grasp. With the bell in one hand and Roberts in another, Savage is caught in a violent tug of war that he ends up losing- on both sides. Hebner successfully rips the bell from his grasp, and Jake successfully pulls Savage into his, snapping him down into the ring skull first with a DDT.
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| As tight as a tourniquet. WWF |
Jake kicks himself away from Savage and back to the corner, trying to catch his breath and assess his damage. Savage is stirring as he manages to pull himself to his feet. Defiant as ever, Jake pulls himself up to his feet using the top rope, marching towards Savage before snatching his head once more, planting him with another DDT. This time, he slithers around the prone Macho Man and berates him, pointing and shouting at the unconscious Savage.
Hebner is in Roberts' face now, ordering him to get out of the ring and leave. "Leave! Go! I'm telling you Jake! Now! Keep going, all the way! Out! You're finished! Get out!"
Jake throws his hands in the air as he climbs through the ropes and to the floor, reluctantly walking away at the request of Hebner. He clutches his ribs as he makes his way up the walkway, but stops before getting too far, a wicked smile crossing his face. He chuckles through baited breaths as he turns back to the ring.
"It's not there! It never was there, Tunney!" Roberts barks, pointing at the corner of the ring. "I gave you my word! It's not right there!" key word, right there. With vicious fury, Jake rips the corner of the apron back, pulling from beneath the ring a small black bag. He holds it high in the air as the audience shrieks in fear, knowing full well what that bag contains.
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| It never was there, Tunney! WWF |
Dismissively, Jake tosses the bag in the ring as he walks ringside, with Hebner noticing and practically jumping out of his boots to get clear of the sack. He tries to tell Jake off, he really does, but Jake is in a zone, not listening to Hebner try desperately to defuse a rapidly declining situation. Roberts flips Savage around to his stomach, holding the sack near his face as the camera shifts to a shot revealing the ramp behind them. Elizabeth is sprinting down the ramp, with Jake hearing her coming and jumping away from the ropes as she hollers and screams for Savage.
She climbs inside and goes right to Savage, covering him and checking on him, shouting and pleading with Roberts to leave him alone.
"You love him?! Do you love him?!" Roberts barks, pie-facing Savage as he fades in and out of consciousness. "Say please, dammit! Say please!"
Roberts starts laughing to himself now, getting a sick thrill out of what he's seeing. "C'mon Randy, C'mon Randy, huh?" he mockingly calls out, with Elizabeth and Hebner alike trying to get Roberts to leave them alone.
His face shifts from a mocking smile to cold and hateful as Savage stirs and starts to rise. Roberts is on his feet now, goading Elizabeth to do something to stop him. He snatches Savage by the hair and pulls him to centre. "You see it?! Yeah?! Say please!" he barks, holding and pointing at the limp body of Savage as he barks at Elizabeth, on her knees crying as Savage can barely stand. Roberts pulls him into his grasp, bellowing for Elizabeth to look him in the eyes. Without breaking eye contact for a second, Roberts DDT's Savage and sits up, his eyes never leaving Elizabeth's.
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| As cold as a razor blade. WWF |
She falls forward to Randy, holding him as Roberts lays beside him, shoving him away with no care for his well being whatsoever. Not forgetting what he came to the ring to do, Roberts grabs the bag and starts to untie it. He retrieves the glove and starts to put it on, getting in her face once again.
"Beg Elizabeth! Beg! Do you love him?! Do you love him Elizabeth?!" he barks, slapping Randy with the glove. "Huh?! What a poor excuse!" He keeps opening the bag before getting back in Elizabeth's face.
"Beg! Beg! Beg, dammit! You want to save his ass you better start beggin' now! Let me hear ya! Let me hear ya, c'mon! He's a piece of nothin'," Roberts jabs a finger in her face. "He's nothing! You hear me! He's nothing!"
Jake collects himself for a moment, his voice lowering slightly. "You married this man? Really?" He removes the glove to make sure nothing is lost in translation, continuing to point at the body of Savage. "You love him? Huh? You love him? Do ya? I can't stand this, you know that? He makes me sick!"
Without warning Roberts snatches Elizabeth by the hair.
He pulls her to the middle of the ring, off her knees and into the middle. She may as well be five miles from anybody in the middle of that ring. He gets in her face and barks at her, pointing at her and shouting to the crowd as if to make a mockery of her. Suddenly, he slaps her across the jaw, with Elizabeth falling to the canvas. Roberts shoves Hebner and retrieves his snake bag, a second referee getting into the ring to chase Roberts to the floor.
Waiting for Jake on the outside is Jack Tunney, with the arrogant Roberts extending a hand for Tunney, asking for a handshake. "There is no snake in this bag!" Roberts shouts, taking a chance to spit on Savage as he is ushered up the ramp by Tunney. He turns to face him and literally crosses his heart, drawing a cross on his pec to show his sincerity, further proving it by raising his right hand to the sky, as if he were to take an oath.
The referee's tend to Savage and help him up the ramp, with Elizabeth leading the charge, all the while turning to Randy as he regains consciousness. She holds her cheek as he asks what happened, trying to piece together how he ended up where he is. The look on Elizabeth's face is of fear and concern, not sure what she should tell her husband first. That Jake DDT'd him again, or that he struck his wife across the face. She knows full well that neither answer will be good.
Backstage, we rejoin Roberts with Gene Okerlund, getting his thoughts immediately after the assault.
"Congratulate me Gene, huh?! Congratu..."
Jake starts, with Gene interrupting him to berate Roberts for hitting Elizabeth.
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| Trust me. WWF |
"A woman... no man wants a woman that's gonna lay down and grovel and beg for somebody's life! If it's a woman that I want, I want her to stand up, stand up and be that, be what I want. As far as slapping her yeah, I slapped her... but I'll slap myself, I'll slap you Gene Okerlund; but I'll tell you something, Randy Savage; DDTing you was fine, that really felt good! But the best feeling I've ever had in my life is when I grabbed a hold of your woman's hair, man, and jerked her up off her knees. Huh? That was good. And then when I put my hand across her face my man, it felt so good I should have to pay for that! Yeah, I would pay to do that! So the next time you think about crossing this snake's path, and the snake chooses his own path where nobody else wants to go, you think about it again. But if you do decide to, please do me one little favour. I'm begging you. Please bring her back. Let me touch her again, huh? I can cultivate her into something that even I could want! Huh? I could do that. Trust me! Trust me."
Okerlund is sickened by what Roberts has to say and forces him out of the interview set, with Jake smiling and chuckling to himself as he walks away.
The following match is The Warlord vs. The British Bulldog, which is just a great way to follow up such an incredible segment, if you ask me. The match happens, it ends, and then we join Macho Man with Sean Mooney backstage once more. This time, Macho Man is in pieces, he's barely coherent. He's stumbling and mumbling around, with Mooney trying to get even a single coherent thought out of Savage.
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| Shut up! WWF |
Savage starts, getting right in the face of Mooney. He's completely gone, incapable of stringing together a sentence without doubling over in pain, physical or mental. All the while, Mooney is trying to keep the interview on track, sympathizing with an irate Savage.
"Degraded Elizabeth! Degraded Elizabeth... you understand that? Degraded Elizabeth. Snake degraded her, yeah. And I'll never forgive myself, it's the worst day of my life! That I let him... do that- GAH! You laid your hands on Elizabeth, you laid your hands on Elizabeth! It's my fault!"
Ashamed, Savage starts literally hitting himself in the head over and over, repeating "It's my fault"
"Man, you said, you said something about hanging with you, 'show you the dark side.' Let me tell you something man, let me tell you something right now. Let me tell you something right now! I'm gonna get you man, yeah. I'm gonna get you! And there ain't gonna be no stopping me man, I'm gonna get you you can trust me that I said that, you already got what you wanted, yeah. And I didn't even get a piece of you. I didn't even get a piece of 'em!"
Again, Savage doubles over, grunting and groaning as he mutters "I blame myself!"
"I'm telling ya... touched Elizabeth, man. Touched Elizabeth, unbelievable, man. That's it, it's over. It's over. No control, brother man, I'm telling you right now. I'm gonna get you man, I'm gonna get you, yeah. I'm beggin' right now, you made her beg, huh? You ain't seen nothin' yet. I'm telling you something right now-"
He jerks his face to the side, overcome with emotions again. He punches his palm and shoots to his feet, screaming in Mooney's face;
"I'm gonna get you! I'm telling you something man, I'm telling you, huh, it ain't over. It ain't even started, you understand that? You understand that?! I blame myself! I'm gonna get you, YEAH!"
Savage starts to walk off set, but Mooney makes the mistake of following him a bit too close. "Get out of here!" he shouts, tossing Mooney to the side as he storms off.
Holy hell, man. This shit was amazing. Was the match a lot to write home about? Not really, but I still enjoyed what we got a lot. Was everything else involved worth talking about? Absolutely. Jake is an a whole other level here, as good as he's ever been. He pulls the rage out of Savage and gets under his skin almost effortlessly. Savage is so mad I wouldn't be shocked if we found Jake bloodied in a dumpster a couple hours later. It's a shame we never really got a proper blow off to this angle. Savage basically eliminates himself from the '92 Rumble to get to Jake, and then its a Saturday Nights Main Event and MSG Network match to end it, both of them right around the 6 minute mark, so not really the blow off you'd hope for with promo work this good.
• • • • •
Well, there you have it! Another week of wrestling and I'm back in the saddle again. All In is this weekend and boy howdy, am I excited! I'll be giving a full rundown of the show but unless something monumental happens (excluding the main event, you guys will find out why sometime in the future why) I won't be covering any of the matches in great detail. As always, cliffmorganwstl@gmail.com if you want to drop me a line.
Until next week, stay safe friends. Take it easy.
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