It's review 40, you know what that means...
The Weekly Watchlist Wrestling Roulette!
For those not in the know, Wrestling Roulette is done every 10 posts. I let a random number generator pick a random match from my ever expanding spreadsheet of matches (just passed 1700 entries) to watch/have watched. I have a few rules to make sure I'm not only picking stuff I want to watch for the week, but for the most part, its totally random what I'm watching.
Let's see what the wheel spun up this week, shall we?
Weekly Roundup
Here's the rules for Wrestling Roulette;
1: I am allowed to pick 5 matches of my own from the list/not on the list I want to watch.
2: I am allowed as many rerolls as necessary until I land on a match I have not watched yet.
3: I am allowed 3 rerolls total if I land on a match I do not want to watch.
4: I am allowed to skip a match for free if it is too difficult to find or exists behind a paywall I do not want to pay for.
Rule 4 was a recently added rule after the WWE Network was put six feet under for us in the Great White North. There are other services out there that aren't in the budget right now (New Japan World, Honor Club, Wrestle Universe, the list goes on) so if I'm not able to watch a match through... other means, it gets a pass.
Here's what I watched for the week;
Alright, I can hear it now, "Morgan! You clearly broke the rules! You watched an entire DPW show this week!" Yeah, I did. Can't really deny that when I screenshot the spreadsheet myself, can I? Here's the deal. Doing my weekend chores, I decided I needed to get a start on my wrestling for the week. I didn't have any individual matches I wanted to watch, so I decided to keep picking away at the DPW archive. Near the middle/end of the show, I started to think about what else I wanted to watch for the week. It was only then did I realize what week it actually was. So, as far as I'm concerned, as long as the DPW (as great as it was) is considered non-roulette canon, it's fine! Right? Whatever, I make the rules here.
Genichiro Tenryu & Jumbo Tsuruta vs. Riki Choshu & Yoshiaki Yatsu - AJPW New Year Wars Super Battle 1986 - Day 25 - 01/28/1986
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| Buckle the fuck up. AJPW |
What a treat for the first match spun up by the roulette wheel this week. I will never be upset when you put an All Japan match in front of me, I've yet to watch anything from AJPW that I didn't either really like or outright love. I went into this match with some decently high expectations that were more than met by the time the final bell rang.
As with many of these matches that get spun up by the wheel, especially those from Japan, I rely heavily on both the comment section as well as other CAGEMATCH inmates to help colour things in. Basically, these two teams hate one another. It's palpable when they come down to the ring and square off with each other, one of those things that is tangible and understandable regardless of the language barrier. There's little extra pomp and fluff when they come down, this is a fight and all four men are more than ready.
Brief side note, Jumbo and Tenryu's theme seems to be a bit of a remix of both themes. Only reason I know this is because I recently listened to Masayoshi Takanaka's magnum opus of an album, "The Rainbow Goblins" and Tenryu's these song is "Thunderstorm" off that album. You hear bits of it between Jumbo's theme which, is cool, but I'd have rathered just get the full "Thunderstorm" treatment. What a song, what an album.
Another thing to point out before any action gets under way, is all four of these men are wearing almost identical ring attire. So for those who aren't very familiar with All Japan and the cats involved, here's what to remember. Tenryu and Jumbo are the tag champs, Tenryu has yellow on his boots. Choshu and Yatsu are the challengers, Choshu has long hair and bandaged ribs with white boots. Those are the most important piece of this match, those bandages. Take notes, class.
Choshu grabs the mic right at the start and shouts something at the champions, but again, the language barrier doesn't help. What I do know, is that Riki Choshu is one of the most beloved figures in all of Japanese wrestling and the crowd fucking explodes at whatever he says. Everyone in attendance is ready for this war, or so they think.
Choshu starts the match and his ribs are a fucking massive target. If a strike or hold isn't outright going for his ribs, it's a way to get to his ribs to damage them. It's a target assault from the champs. Like I said at the start, there's a sense of hatred deep in the DNA of this match, evident when Tenryu circles the ring to find an opening on Choshu, only to take the chance to try and drive a short elbow strike into the face of Yatsu while he's on the apron. It's not the only instance where this happens either, both teams take little pot shots at the non-legal man whenever they get the chance.
There's some mean submission work in the early parts of this match, with Tenryu getting Choshu in a figure four that he gets out of by rolling to his corner, tagging in Yatsu, and watching as he drops the elbow on the chest of Tenryu. Eventually, the constant assault from both teams starts to wear on Choshu, and he can't hide the agony his ribs have him in. Not like the champs care, Tentryu is happy to hold the right arm of Choshu as he winds up and drops the elbow on the wounded side of the challenger. Even when he tries to get up and wail on Tenryu, a single punch is too much exertion for him.
Theres brawling outside between Tenryu and Choshu on the outside that sends Choshu into the barricade, you guessed it, ribs first! It's completely chaotic but the worst is yet to come, even still. With new found life, Choshu gets tagged in and catches the kick of Jumbo, twisting him around in his move, the Scorpion Death Lock, and the crowd explodes. The brawl goes back to the floor and this is where the chaos, bloodlust, and violence is taken to the extreme.
Choshu grabs Jumbo by the skull and starts fucking drilling him into the ring post. The impacts are disgusting. Yatsu is in the ring and legal with Jumbo and targets the head with knuckle-focused punches and stomps. He gets spiked with a piledriver as the blood continues to pout. It's as if these four men were sharks, the scent of plasma in the air has driven them into a feeding frenzy. I mean, Yatsu gets Jumbo in the Scorpiona on Tenryu hits the ropes and lariat's Yatsu so hard he nearly goes flying out of the damn ring, it's nuts!
The referee is hardly able to keep order with almost all four men in constant rotation in the ring, on the apron, or on the floor, it's a cyclone of violence and hate. The finish comes in a flash, with Tenryu powerbombing Yatsu to hell after the referee has to send Choshu and Jumbo to their corners. It matters little, as they spring back into the ring as the count is being called, with the champs retaining after an all-out war.
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| Could have just stayed in the ring. Not like you went very far lads. AJPW |
Good god, what an insane match. It didn't have all the fixings of being an all-timer right from the start, but as things ramped up to the point of driving straight up a building, god did it get good. There's not really a lot else that needs to be said here. You don't need chairs, a cage, or barbed wire to get across the message of hatred across in a match. Hit each other hard and don't let up for a second, this match is proof positive that it can work.
Sheamus vs. Edge - WWE SmackDown - 08/18/2023
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| The swan song. WWE |
Y'know, I was kinda surprised when this match popped up this week. Not that I had it on my list, I knew that, but that I'd never actually watched this match. I was sure I had, but I hadn't! Wrestling and I were in an awkward place when this match took place. I've talked about it on my podcast "Tapping Out" but to summarize, I went to train to wrestle in the early part of 2023. I ended up quitting after my mental health completely tanked and I fell out of love with wrestling for a time. I really didn't feel like revisiting something I was so determined to be my life and career at that point in time.
I remember the weekend after this match, however. I'm fairly certain my fiance and I had just come home from a day out thrifting and visiting a local zoo. I remember checking my phone when we finally got home and saw people talking about this match and how great it was. I wasn't actively watching wrestling, but I still kept up with what was happening through Twitter (the bad app as its called now) and podcasts. I knew this would be a good match, how could it not be, but I was just happy Edge got a really nice sendoff in what was rumoured to be his farewell match. At the time, I don't really remember any rumblings of Edge jumping the great divide and becoming Cope a couple months later, but it never really crossed my mind as a possibility at the time, I honestly figured he'd be content and hang up his boots. Shows what I know, eh?
It should go without saying, but for those not in the know, this episode of SmackDown was in Toronto, the hometown of Edge, and when "Metalingus" blasted through the speakers, the crowd went fuckin' nuts. Edge's family was ringside, with Beth Phoenix being a pivotal part of this match from her facial reactions alone. They cut to her a lot at ringside during this, but I won't be going over ever time they do, that would be absurd!
The match starts with a handshake between the two, not knowing a lot about their personal lives, I feel pretty confident in saying they are pretty close, given their interactions on Sheamus' Celtic Warrior Workouts videos. Edge has also made it no secret that taking a fall while mountain biking with Sheamus made him consider getting back in the ring again, and here we are just a couple years later, Edge's final match in WWE against Sheamus. Gotta feel like a real full circle moment for the both of them. Makes me happy.
It's a fairly standard back and forth from both men, with the biggest piece of offence coming from Edge planting Sheamus on the floor with a powerbomb from the apron. Edge goes for a big crossbody off the top when Sheamus is rolled back in the ring but only gets a two count off his aerial attempt. Edge keeps trying to go for his Edge-based offence, such as the Edgecator, the Edgecution and the Edge-Spear (two trusts and a lie there, have fun), but Sheamus is able to fend him off.
Not like Edge is just eating all of Sheamus' biggest shots the whole time either, he fights out of the Beats of the Bodhran, pulls Sheamus to the apron, and spears him to the floor through the ropes! He does a bit of a turn in air so he doesn't DDT himself to hell, but it still looked nasty. That's one of the things you can't say about this match, these guys beat the piss out of each other. Part of it is who you've got in there, the other part is how close these two guys are. Edge isn't going to be afraid to get gritty, and Sheamus always hits like a train that's flown off the tracks. This 20 minute main event had to feel like an hour long match by the end of things, the amount of sweat that was pouring off these two.
The match looks to be all but won as Sheamus delivers a White Noise off the top rope and pulls Edge right up into the Celtic Cross, covering him for the clsoest two count in the entire match. We get another good shot of Beth Phoenix beside herself as Edge struggle to continue, but refuses to give in, even when Sheamus pulls him in for another set of Bodhran Beats and clobbers him until his legs give out.
Despite all that, Edge takes Sheamus off his feet with a nasty lariat and moves to the corner to set up for the spear, lying in wait until Sheamus is back on his feet and charging at the exact right moment. Right before impact, Sheamus gets a knee up and Edge eats patella and staggers, with Sheamus taking off from the ropes to shove the rest of Edge's teeth down his throat with a Brogue kick. He folds Edge up for the three count, but Edge somehow survives!
Edge is able to get Sheamus with one spear, but it's not quite enough. But once he moves to the corner and lies in wait, he crushes Sheamus with a second spear and drapes an arm across the chest of his opponent, getting the 3 count in, what seemed to be, his goodbye match.
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| His final spear as Edge. WWE |
These guys didn't do anything revolutionary in there, it wasn't a match of the year contender (not to me, at least) but it was exciting, action packed, and hard hitting. Hard to go wrong when two guys decide to just go hell for leather for 20 minutes and give everything. Do I think Edge showing up in AEW ruined this moment? Not at all, WWE was his home for his entire career, closing the book on that part of his life in a match like this was really nice, not soured with any sort of hindsight. They were even able to cap the show off with a hug in the ring as the show faded to black. Respect.
Abdullah The Butcher vs. Terry Funk - AJPW 8th Champion Carnival - Day 18 - 04/18/1980
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| This is not going to be pretty at all. AJPW |
This was a tougher match for me to grade, if I can be honest. By and large, the matches I have on my spreadsheet and the stuff I want to watch are all highly rated matches. I've curated it that way. While I can understand that this match may do something for some of you, this one just didn't do it for me. And I've got a pretty good felling I know why. Let me explain.
First off, it's always, always amazing to see a Terry Funk All Japan entrance. It can't be understated just how deified the Funk's were in Japan, especially Terry. The image of the all-American cowboy was beloved by the Japanese public at this time, and their skills and heart in the ring only endeared them to the crowd even more. Keep this in mind as you watch this match, because that's why it takes Terry 3 fucking minutes to get to the ring. He's wading through a sea of people that adore him, it's a sight to behold.
Contrast that to Abdullah, who charges through the crowd that parts in front of him without so much as a second thought. Terry is light on his feet and trying to take it to Abby before he can even get in the ring, but the referee is trying to keep some sort of order before the mayhem begins. Once inside, Abby is the first to land offence on Terry and it remains that way for most of the opening minutes. Terry does land a few shots, but Abby is dragging Funk around and having his way with him. His way, of course, is punches and kicks.
Thus, I've come to the reason I can't love this match as much as others. Sure, I love hardcore and violent matches as much as the next guy, I've made that pretty clear on the blog, but I need some action, some spots, some moves for gods sake! When Abby's entire "move set" is punches and kicks, the former used almost exclusively to bust his opponent open, it kinda puts me to sleep. And I can't foot the blame to Terry either, he's selling like he's being whipped and murders in that ring, screaming and flailing around like mad. The worst of is is when Abby is dribbling his head off the ring post as blood covers Terry's agony-stricken face.
Terry does come back and lay into Abby pretty heavily, but the majority of the match is Funk trying to survive bleeding out as Abby stalks him, fork no doubt in hand, making way to do more damage. If Terry Funk wasn't in this match and it was just an Abdullah punch fest, I'd be giving this a much lower grade, and might be neglecting it entirely for the review, but Terry makes this match better than it has any chance of being if Abby was the most prominent guy in the match.
The ending is kinda flat too, honestly, with Funk going for the Spinning Toe Hold and wrenching on Abby, but he jabs up into the face of Terry to break the hold as he crawls to the apron and falls out to the floor. Funk follows him and charges in with a knee as Abby is laying against the apron. The referee calls for a double count out and that's that. I'd have liked to see an actual winner here, but I guess that wasn't in the cards.
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| You good, Abby? AJPW |
El Generico & Kevin Steen vs. The Young Bucks - ROH Final Battle 2009 - 12/19/2009
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| A shaky code of honor at best. ROH |
Well, if this isn't an interesting match to show up on Roulette this week, eh? I'll admit it, when this match came up this week, I didn't understand the gravity of the situation. I knew I added in matches encompassing some of wrestling's greatest rivalries, with the KO and Sami one being one of the first I did, but I didn't realize this match was ground zero. This is the nucleus, the reason we have 16 years of hatred between these two. Man, was I hyped to watch this match.
Leading into this match, commentary points out that Steen is dealing with a bad knee and has been advised by doctors that he really shouldn't be in this match. Despite that, he's gone against the advice of the doctors and has decided to fight alongside his best friend, El Generico, tonight. Not only that, but many in attendance believed that this was going to be Steen's retirement match, and the Bucks put up their ROH careers here too, saying they'd leave if they lost. There's a lot riding on this match, and it's slotted in the middle of the card! Absurd!
The code of honor is adhered to, if not hesitantly from Steen as he pills Matt Jackson in to have a few words with him. There's a shoving match back and forth until the referee breaks it up and sends both teams to their corners, ringing the bell once there's two men in the ring. It's Generico and Nick Jackson starting things off, with neither man able to gain a true advantage at the start. They tag their partners in and the future KO, currently "Mr Wrestling," shows he's not as white mean a babyface as his partner. He picks up the spat out gum of Matt, chewing it, and spitting it in the face of Nick. After charging Nick off the apron, he climbs to the middle rope and shoots a snot-rocket from each nose down below, the mist showing up in grotesque quality on this 480p video.
If I can be totally honest here, the match isn't anything spectacular. It's great, don't get me wrong, but if this match didn't come before one of the most important heel turns of the last 20 years (one of, don't get angry Cena-marks) I feel like it may get lost to history. Generico is the babyface in peril, getting trounced in the heat so Steen can come in with the hot tag and clean house. The knee injury angle isn't really prevalent until about 10 minutes in, with Steen starting to favour it after a drilling Matt with a neckbreaker on the knee. Probably could have picked a better move than that one, just sayin'.
Even with the injured knee, It's still back and forth from both teams, their biggest moves getting blocked or countered with this being the third time these teams have faced off this year. Even some of their most impactful double team moves aren't enough, with a Yakuza kick into a half nelson suplex dropping Nick flat on the canvas and a splash from Steen to seal the deal, the Bucks still survive. Steen is even able to get Nick in a sharpshooter and eat a superkick from Matt, spitting in his face defiantly as he keeps the hold locked in until his knee gives out and he's forced to break.
If commentary is to be believed, and I don't have the time to do my own independent research, Steen is the first person to kick out of More Bang for Your Buck, not letting a bad wheel stop him from fighting with everything he has. Unfortunately, when he rises to his feet, he's met with a volley of superkicks from the Bucks, with a double superkick putting him down for the three count.
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| The party had yet to begin. ROH |
All in all, this was a really good tag match! Like I said before, it's nothing spectacular given the mile high standards for what Ring of Honor was doing at this time, but it's more than worth a watch. For no other reason than seeing where all four of these men were almost 20 years ago. Well, 3 men, Generico is still somewhere down in Mexico running an orphanage and, if rumours are to be believed, he may even be dead. God rest him.
After the match, Steen grabs a microphone and, god I wish this video was in better quality, because I can't understand half the shit he's saying. I'm able to make out him cussing out some heckler right at the start here, but not a word he says sounds English. Watch it yourself and see what you can come up with. It's almost 10 minutes worth of him thanking the crowd, Ring Of Honor, everyone and anyone for his career. It's a real-feeling retirement speech and feels so authentic, and maybe it was. Maybe there was a part of Steen that felt like he wouldn't be around much longer and wanted to get this off his chest and have this moment. But, there's even more of a chance that he knew he'd be around for a lot longer and wanted to get that extra level of heat in making people weep that he's leaving them, only to rip their hearts out for real when he does what he does at the end.
In the end, he gives his love to a few people by name, even responding to a fan that shouts it back at him. Finally, he turns to Generico and starts to speak, but his words are cut short when Generico goes in for a hug and the two embrace for a long time. This moment really stuck out to me, it feels like a real goodbye because it probably was. I can only imagine the words exchanged between the two in that moment.
"This is it. There's no going back from this. I'm going to miss this. Let's make magic together. I love you."
Steen pulls away from the hug but keeps a hand on Generico's shoulder, stepping back to speak once again.
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| "I hate your fucking guts." ROH |
In a split second, everything changes, the crowd screams NO in unison, watching as Steen drills Generico with a kick to the nuts that drops him where he stands, years of friendships destroyed in an instant.
Steen stumbles to the floor, picking up a chair and braining Generico with it. It's a horrific chair shot straight to the top of his dome. Generico falls to the canvas like a corpse as Steen stands there, face to the sky as he soaks in the reaction and lets this cathartic moment wash over him, all feelings released in an instant. Colt Cabana comes to the ring to make sure noting else happens to Generico, and Steen plants a kiss on his lips before he climbs through the ropes, a wicked smile covering his face.
The turn is what people really watch this match for, and without knowing it's coming, it comes wildly out of left field. It's done so perfectly I had the words "I hate your fucking guts" rolling around in my head for hours after watching it. Its so good. And just like that, one of the greatest rivalries of all time was born. What a moment in time.
Outro
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